(Source: profeminist, via kaelvas)

themintycupcake:

stan-leigh-bowery:

ithelpstodream:

This week, the Office for National Statistics has added ready-made mashed potato to the UK’s official shopping basket, which it uses to measure inflation, and people are up in arms. Who buys a pre-chopped onion that costs three times as much as a whole one? How lazy do you have to be to choose a frozen omelette over a couple of eggs?

These kinds of convenience foods are an easy target. But for the 13.3 million people in Britain with disabilities – and those living with arthritis, chronic illness, recovering from injury or surgery, or undergoing cancer treatment – convenience foods aren’t just convenient: they are a lifeline.

This is an issue close to my heart. I’m a professional cook, but I also have a chronic pain condition, and there are occasions when I can’t even hold a knife. In times like those, I’m never going to opt for the impenetrable whole butternut squash over one that has already been diced for me.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2018/mar/16/pre-chopped-onions-arent-pointless-if-you-cant-hold-a-knife

Next time you see an infomercial for a fork that twists spaghetti on its own or a big oversized vegetable pealer, pro tip: it’s made for a disabled person.

And unfortunately it still has to be marketed to abled people because capitalism won’t let us have accommodating technology unless it’s profitable.

(via sugaraqi)

darlinghogwarts:

If you don’t love languages, hear me out: my telugu friend had been affectionately calling me, a hindi speaker, “gundi” for 7 months. We didn’t realize until recently that the word has two completely different meanings in Telugu and Hindi, and that we both had completely different interpretations of her affection.

In Telugu, “gundi” means “smol/button/round/cute”.

In Hindi, “gundi” means “female thug”

(via thirdchildreblogs)

lookinghotinabikini:

imsoofuckingsad:

depression: …

me: …

depression: …

me: …

depression: …

me: …

depression: …

me: …

depression: …

me: …

depression: …

me: …

depression: …

me: …

depression: …

me: …

depression: …

me: …

depression: time for more sleeping

me: yeah okay

anxiety: WAIT

I’m on the floor omfg

(via thirdchildreblogs)

kittehinfurs:

khanos:

there’s a future version of me who’s proud I was strong enough

This is the thing I needed to hear today. Thank you.

(via aroace-steve-rogers)

babyanimalgifs:

Naughty elephant 🐘😂❤️

(via babyanimalgifs)

bellainvincibile:

“You don’t have a soul…You are a soul. You have a body, temporarily.”

— Walter M. Miller Jr., A Canticle for Leibowitz
(via books-n-quotes)

(Source: booksnquotes.com, via shopgirl1940)

10knotes:

I don’t think google gets enough credit sometimes

(Source: hemidemisplemmyquaver, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

bizarre-biography asked: Do you have that quote from the guy that was like you can’t tell a mans life from clues he has like tattoos or ring marks because to do so is to ignore the unique human variety and personality? I think I saw it on your blog

iamagrocerybagtoo:

gallusrostromegalus:

“Samuel Vimes dreamed about Clues. He had a jaundiced view of Clues. He instinctively distrusted them. They got in the way. And he distrusted the kind of person who’d take one look at another man and say in a lordly voice to his companion, “Ah, my dear sir, I can tell you nothing except that he is a left-handed stonemason who has spent some years in the merchant navy and has recently fallen on hard times,” and then unroll a lot of supercilious commentary about calluses and stance and the state of a man’s boots, when exactly the same comments could apply to a man who was wearing his old clothes because he’d been doing a spot of home bricklaying for a new barbecue pit, and had been tattooed once when he was drunk and seventeen* and in fact got seasick on a wet pavement. What arrogance! What an insult to the rich and chaotic variety of the human experience!”
― Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

If you have not read Discworld yet, I HIGHLY reccomend it becuase it’s this kind of slapstic philosophy the whole way through. And Puns.  So Many Puns.

Terry Pratchett is one of my favorite authors. Go read his stuff, y'all.

muffining:

sugar4ndroses:

narwhalsarefalling:

starlightandcrimescenes:

gin-and-eschatonic:

agrestenoir:

commanderfraya:

icouldwritebooks:

mirab3lle:

thomrainierskies:

mugsandpugs1:

hermionegranger:

autisticcole:

debrides:

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.”

we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

I work in a Call Center and there are certain phrases that are go-tos instead of “you’re welcome” so now I say “absolutely!” and “anytime!” about 300 times a day, whether or not I’m at work.

(via iamagrocerybagtoo)

toodrunktofindaurl:

toodrunktofindaurl:

Incredible.

#she doesn’t need to be photoshopped #that’s like… airbrushing a Van Gogh (x)

(via theawkwardpincushion)

thegreathomestuckreread:

madkingrian:

ladiesloveloki:

grilledcheese-samwich:

Do you ever catch a whiff of a scent that smells unmistakably of something really random like the twenty-third day of first grade and you’re just like hOW DID I REMEMBER THAT

SOMEONE ACTUALLY PUT THIS INTO WORDS

and then you wanna make a candle out of it and try to sell it but never sell out of it you’d only sell one and it would be to your brother because you’ve got the same nose

fun fact: studies have shown that smell is the sense with the strongest link to memory! that is why you remember the most odly specific things when you smell a certain smell